103 Gun Shots Fired - Really?

Prince William and Kate Middleton’s new baby boy was welcomed to the world with 103 CANNON SHOTS FIRED ACROSS LONDON on Tuesday morning. This gun salute came from both Green Park and the Tower of London.  At first I was horrified to imagine such a violent tribute FOR A BABY. But any look at the history of the Royal family will let you see how endeared the Brits are to this pompous acknowledgement. It is like a great big ROYAL HUG.

I watched one video clip and was surprised by the foot work and decorum. The sight of all that precise marching, the colorful uniforms, the loud blasts and the smoke reminded me of how The Alberta Ballet might look if they were part of the Calgary Stampede Firework Show. Impressive – but really loud. Not the stuff of nurseries or lullabies. Oh Well. This was not my show.

If I had been consulted, keeping in mind that Royal traditions change from time to time, this is what I might have suggested:

*Releasing one million baby blue helium balloons into the air from the lawns of Westminster Abbey. In the background a gentle rendition of Rock a Bye Baby rung out by the Westminster Chimes.

*How about injecting new breeds of exotic tropical fish into the River Thames - a billion or so guppies. Not even sure that would work from the perspective of the ecosystem but wouldn’t it be a splashy gesture?

*Sending off monogrammed BURP PADS AND DIAPER BAGS to all male babies born on the new Prince's birthdate, any where in the British Realm. “HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS PRINCE GEORGE OF CAMBRIDGE wants to be your friend.”

PISH POSH. . .  maybe the whole CANNON SALUTE is a good idea after all. Hard to compete with 103 gunshots. But – and I do feel strongly about this –  pick a different venue than the TOWER OF LONDON. Doesn’t anyone remember what happened to those 2 adorable princes in 1483?